Lost
by John De Vries
I have many friends who enjoy the popular television show called “Lost.” “Lost” is a story about a bunch of strangers that have crashed by plane onto a tropical island. The characters survive and thrive in the midst of chaos and danger. In some ways it reminds me of how many families experience adolescence. Everyone is just flying along, enjoying life without a care in the world. The children seem happy, are relatively obedient, and minor flare-ups occur but are controlled. Then the turbulence of adolescence hits and the plane starts to feel unsteady. Without correction, the family will crash and find themselves in some unknown territory…lost in the wild of adolescence.
In recent years many books have been published in an attempt to lead families through the wilderness of child rearing. If you are fortunate enough to identify with the Christian community then there are even more books that highlight your role and responsibility as a parent. Each book highlights a variety of different skills as authors try to assist parents in the raising of children.
Sadly, even the Christian community often forgets that God granted children with the ability to make decisions on their own and sometimes no matter what you do as a parent, kids (and especially teens) will sometimes choose a different more dangerous path, at least for a time. When our kids choose to head down this path we need to be prepared to walk in the wilderness with them. It is often a wilderness in which parents are not accustomed to living and therefore frequently get disoriented and lost. I recently read a book called Wilderness Survival, and it highlights that the number one reason people don’t survive when lost in the wilderness is because of fear and panic.
Sometimes it is easy to feel fear and panic when lost in the wilderness of adolescence. Teens can be so confusing and the map laid out by well-meaning authors does not seem to apply. But fear is a normal reaction for anyone faced with an emergency. There is no advantage in trying to avoid fear by denying the existence of danger. It is important to realize your fear and accept it as a perfectly normal reaction rather than a shameful one. As a father and a man, I know the last thing I want to do is ask for directions or admit that I’m lost. But, like many other parents, I am in the most dangerous position when I think, “It can’t happen to me.”
