Shelterwood Parents Share Lessons Learned
1. Letting your child struggle is OK. A parent once told me that the most significant thing she learned while at Shelterwood was the value of letting her child struggle and experience discomfort. Up to that point, she had believed the lie that "good parents do everything they can to keep their children from suffering any type of pain."
2. Don’t "major” on minor issues. There are choices that each child makes that are not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of life! Compared to all the self-destructive choices in the world, I learned at Shelterwood that my child's choice to have long hair or a tattoo is not a reason to despair. It may even be a healthy way for them to assert their identity.
3. Progress is happening even when I can’t see it. I learned to embrace the absolute necessity for my child to make mistakes in order to grow. Every unwise choice is an opportunity, not a failure. It may be one more step toward my child growing tired of his life and thereby letting go of patterns and choices that don't work for him.
4. Shelterwood has impacted my life as well. God used this time for my own individual change that ultimately contributed greatly toward the progress and unity in my family.
5. I needed others. Prayer, dependency on God and healthy dependency on others was invaluable during this process. We are not meant to have all the answers and to do it all on our own. Reach-out, receive the comfort God has available to you from others and through Him.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 09/04 at 12:24 PM
I have recently, and continually, been reminded that it is the simple things in life that are the most helpful for growth. With a plethora of information and advice at our fingertips we tend to feel that there is some secret knowledge out there. If we could just obtain that piece of information it would finally be the answer to our hopelessness, frustration, depression, or anger.
A favorite verse of mine that speaks to the simplicity of our faith is in Deuteronomy chapter 30. As Moses was getting ready to leave his post as leader of the Israelites, this was part of his closing comments to them, “Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, “who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?” Nor is it beyond the sea so that you have to ask, “Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to use so that we may obey it?” No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.” We are all trying to tackle our own set of problems; whether it is a surplus of pride or a lack of faith, God is accessible to us. My only job is and always will be to come to God. Let me amend that further by saying my job is not just to come but to stay.
I think the ability to stay has so much to do with our thought life. It can be as simple as the time-outs I am having to start using on my 2 year old. In a book called “Leave your mind behind” Matthew Mckay and Catharine Sutker identify different types of thoughts that we all experience and gives practical practice to becoming an observer of our thoughts rather than prisoner to our thoughts (see 2 Corinthians 10:5, or Philippians 4:8). Just like a good work-out can help you clear your mind this book gives you mental exercises to help you tone your thought life. It is a book that helps you to manage those sometimes overwhelming thoughts that seem to crowd out logic and sense but accomplished in a way that is playful and lighthearted. As an over-thinker these exercises have encouraged me to think less and rest more. It seems that God is able to gain better control in my life when I allow my mind to step aside. The format of the book allows you to use the book like you would a daily devotional (but not replacing it). She speaks briefly in the beginning about the different types of thoughts and then proceeds to give 1 and 2 page exercises that address these different types of thoughts. Most of them can be accomplished in a short period of time although some may take more emotional energy and focus than others.
Instead of making it your goal to go out and find more answers or obtain information try being obedient to do the simple things that you already know and maybe have not done. If resting your mind is hard for you then maybe the exercises in this little book could help. Regardless, be encouraged and reminded that God is not far from us but he does need us to stop and be with him in order to help us.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 10/13 at 12:21 PM
I with you agree. In it something is. Now all became clear, I thank for the help and I hope to see more such articles.
Posted by
Isreal on 11/11 at 09:03 AM
