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Adoption

“He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will” -Eph. 1:5

A few weeks ago, the world watched in horror as a mother made the decision to “un-adopt” her adopted Russian son by simply putting him on a plane and sending him back to Russia. Unbelievable. Unthinkable.

You may have read the story about the little girl in the 1st grade class. One day, the teacher asked the kids where they were born. The little girl answered, “I’m not sure, I was adopted by my mommy and daddy.” Later, at recess, one of her friends commented, “I never knew you were adopted. That sounds weird.” The little girl responded, “No, it’s not weird. Your mommy had you in her tummy, but my mommy had me in her heart.”

1.7 million households in America have adopted kids. Most of these families are thriving as wonderful parents reach out to love their families. Yet media tends to slant adopted kids as alienated and unhappy. But most adopted kids grow up just fine, with normal struggles just like all kids.

A famous study in the 90’s by the Search Institute of Minneapolis showed that a majority of adopted teens were strongly attached to their families and psychologically healthy. In fact, adopted teens scored better than non adopted siblings in connectedness, caring, and academics. I have worked with many adopted kids in my years at Sheltrwood. Do adopted kids have problems? You bet. But so do non adopted kids.

Here are some famous adopted adults:

• Nancy Regan (former First Lady)
• Halle Berry (actress)
• Robert Byrd (U.S. senator)
• Peter and Kitty Caruthers (figure skaters)
• Eric Dickerson (football player)
• Former president Gerald Ford
• Melissa Gilbert (actress)
• Scott Hamilton (Olympic gold medalist skater)
• Debbie Harry (singer, A.K.A. Blondie)
• Faith Hill (singer)
• Steve Jobs (co-founder of Apple Computers)
• Dave Thomas (founder of Wendy’s)
•Jim Lightfoot (congressman)
•Jim Palmer (professional baseball player)

Another more recent study was led by Matt McGue at the University of Minnesota and included over 1000 children, including adolescents and their siblings. Funded by the National Institute of Mental Health, it is called the Siblings Interaction and Behavior Study (SIBS). Researchers concluded that adopted kids had as close a relationship to their siblings as non adopted kids. In addition, they found no greater risk for emotional problems than among non adopted kids. You can read more about adopted kids in Parenting your Adopted Child: a positive approach to building a strong family by Andrew Adesman, M.D. (McGraw-Hill, 2004).

If you are feeling led toward adoption, let me strongly encourage you to “stay the course.” The choice to be a parent, through adoption or not, is a choice to love. Either way, God is in control and knows just what we need.

After all, God knows a lot about adoption. He adopted us as His sons and daughters a long time ago.

By Joseph Staples ©

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Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/28 at 12:03 PM

According to The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned pregnancy, the number of unplanned pregnancies among teens in the US is more than a half million annually.  One in eight women, ages 15 to 19, becomes pregnant and almost half of teen pregnancies end in abortion.  Ninety percent of teens who actually give birth decide to keep their babies; few place their babies for adoption.
Relinquishing an infant for adoption is seldom considered a viable option for women in unplanned pregnancies. Only about two percent of infants born to single mothers are relinquished for adoption, according to the Department of Health and Human Services, compared to about twenty percent in the 1970’s.  The most recent study indicates that nearly one million women were seeking to adopt children in 2002, while fewer than 54,000 infants were available for adoption in the U.S.
Why do so few women in the midst of an unplanned pregnancy choose to relinquish their infants for adoption?  Paul Swope, of the Caring Foundation, suggests that unplanned motherhood represents a threat so great to modern women that it is perceived as equivalent to a ‘death of self.’.  Basically a woman desperately wants a sense of resolution to her crisis, and in her mind, adoption leaves the situation the most unresolved, with uncertainty and guilt as far as she can see for both herself and her child.
Beyond the shock of pregnancy, there are other factors that contribute to the intensity of a woman’s emotional state while she is choosing a course of action relating to an unplanned pregnancy. According to this study, women who had strong doubts felt powerless during the decision making process and those who were most distressed, felt pressured by their partners, friends, and parents to choose one particular action.  In a qualitative study conducted on unmarried pregnant adolescents and their significant others, several overriding factors influenced their decision not to relinquish.  The general societal sanction against relinquishment, coupled with low levels of knowledge and the absence of professional interventions confirms existing adolescent beliefs that severe, intolerable, and ongoing psychological distress would accompany adoption.
Survival mode is not a prudent filter through which to make one of life’s most important decisions for the very first time.  But if young women could be presented with all of the facts and given the opportunity to consider adoption prior to becoming sexually active then they might be better prepared to make a more life affirming choice.
by Cindy Booth ©

Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)  on  05/12  at  12:26 PM
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